southsamurai

Definitely unpopular!

Supposedly, it isn’t extinct. There has been word that the plant was found growing somewhere, Turkey maybe? I’ll go look after I hit send on this, but it matches all the descriptions.

Edit: yup! Turkey

https://allthatsinteresting.com/silphium

Thanks :) makes an old man feel useful

No worries, I’ve just got old eyes and dyslexia, I could fuck up reading kindergarten level books lol

I do see your point, and I may be off in my evaluation of the preemptive bans. Wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve been off on.

And I am worried that it’s going to end up ruining a great thing. The fact that they’ve made several mistakes, targeting people that are discussing rather than attacking, it’s a problem. If it isn’t reined in, the possibility of it turning utterly toxic is real, and with blahaj being the only significant, broadly federated trans space, I really, really hope ada and any other admins can self regulate and turn it around. I know they mean well, they’re coming from a place of strong conviction. But strong conviction can turn to zealotry fast.

I think, for me, the key to it is how they’re finding comments and posts that lead to the decision. If they’re literally out looking for opportunities to do it, your concerns are likely to come to pass. But if it’s passive, then chances are higher that it will end up okay. I don’t know if any of them will see this thread, or if they’d consider responding to it, but it would really be of benefit if they switch to passive only if they’re actively looking. As a strategy, going off and looking is just too risky, too severe.

Ideally, a preemptive ban would only happen after a thorough review of the user, not off of a single comment, even if that comment seems a problem on the surface. Nor off of a single aspect of ideology when just leaving them alone means they’re not a problem at all.

Xenopronouns.

That’s the big wall people hit, and nope the fuck out over.

Let’s point right at the xeno-elephant in the room and get it out of the way.

Dragon rider/fucker.

That’s been the crux of the neopronoun arguments. And, I suspect, they intended at pear least part of that. I say they because I’ve discussed it with dragon rider, and they understand my limitations. I respect their choice, I just have so much trouble adapting to individualized pronouns that it fucks my brain and hands too much. My hands are already throbbing from the previous wall of text.

So, this isn’t about whether or not they’re a troll. That’s irrelevant. Seriously, it doesn’t matter for this discussion, or for the rules of blahaj.

What does matter is the most common objection to their use of “drag” as a pronoun. “Dragons aren’t real, and you can’t fuck things that aren’t real, therefore drag is full of shit and can be ignored.”

So, what the fuck is a xenopronoun?

You can look up definitions aplenty, but it comes down to saying “I reject gender entirely, and will choose a term that is not only disconnected from gender, but is disconnected from human limitations”

That’s it. A person using a xenopronoun doesn’t necessarily think they’re a dragon, or a dog, or whatever. They don’t have to be otherkin either.

My standard example for this is a standard neopronoun like “xe” neatly slots into English. If I request that, it’s an easy ask. If I request my pronoun be “sam” “south”, or even “samurai”, those things all make sense, and won’t cause as much of a fight as something like “pup”.

If I listed my pronouns as “tige/tiger/tigers”, I’m going to catch hell everywhere I go, right? And that’s with a tiger, the most majestic and sexy animal on earth (with the possible exception of the platypus or one of my chickens).

So, why could it matter? Why should anyone respect that? It makes no sense, I’m not a fucking tiger. I can’t fuck a tiger without dying (but that wouldn’t stop me from trying!). I have no real connection to tigers other than a strange fascination that I enjoy joking about. So why should anyone use it?

Well, truth is that even if I actually wanted people to, I don’t think I would object if they didn’t, because I’m just a cis-het dude up in the mountains, hoping and wishing I could pray that we aren’t in a civil war before the end of the year, and hoping that the lack of war doesn’t mean the fascists won already.

But I’m not the reason xenopronouns exist. Like I said, it’s about people either so disconnected from gender that adopting an animal or other kind of term as a pronoun is more them; or those that have some kind of genuine belief that they have a connection to the thing they’ve adopted as a pronoun

Now, how the fuck does that relate to trans people and trans rights? You can’t be a trans cat because you can’t turn into one, you can’t have been assigned the wrong species at birth, none of the things that we all recognize as aspects of being trans. You can’t, it’s a physical fact.

But, maybe some trans people are among the group that is so disconnected from gender that even standard neopronouns don’t work. Or, maybe they also hold a religious or spiritual belief regarding inner connect to animals or other entities. You can be trans and a member of an animist religion.

Why should those trans people be denied their religious beliefs? Why do they have to disconnect that belief from their lack of gender? Who decides when a person has to just suck it up and pick a regular fucking word, for fucks sake?

Yeah, I think we can all agree that there is zero concrete, discrete, evidence based indication that spirit animals, or angels, or any of that exists. Right? I mean, even if you believe in those things, you can clearly see a lack of physical evidence of them. There’s no forensic residues left by them, you can’t detect them using reproducible means. You may or may not agree that whatever spiritual methods used should or should not be a proof, but it absolutely isn’t something you can just take a picture of.

But there’s trans people for whom that most definitely is a part of who they are. Just like there’s cis folk that believe that way.

The key is, who decides when a trans person can use those terms? Who decides if the otherkin of the world can/should fall under the trans umbrella, even if they don’t have a disconnection from gender? I know it damn sure isn’t the cis majority, and I’ll fight on that fucking hill. We, even cis allies, do not get to define who is and isn’t trans, with the qualifier that language consensus and medical reality may not match with what trans folks decide belongs in their shelter.

I haven’t actually formed a final opinion on xenogender beyond that, btw. My opinion is that my opinion doesn’t fucking matter, no matter what that opinion ends up being. I may eventually come to believe that xenopronouns are a bad thing for trans rights, that it’s a weak point that leaves the fight vulnerable, and needs to be shelved at least temporarily. But it’s still just the opinion of some cis-het dude in the mountains. Though, being real, writing this did convince me that if blahaj wants to cover xenopronouns as part of their fight, as the rules of that instance, I’d have their back. I may disagree overall (I’m still torn), but I sure as fuck agree that their community is who decides, not anyone else.

But that’s what it all comes down to. Some folks want/need things that make others uncomfortable, make them face things they don’t understand. Some of those may be trolls. Hell, it’s inevitable that trolls use it as a weapon, and that full on enemies of trans rights use it as an avenue of attack.

Shit. I think I just thought myself into an opinion about it. Didn’t plan that, and I gotta pick it apart a few times. But that’s off topic.

That’s what the argument is all about. Where’s the line, who gets to decide where the line is? For blahaj, we know where the line is currently. The instance officially falls on the side of the line that says “if you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us”, and they include xenopronouns as part of “us”, until and unless an individual starts breaking other instance rules.

I gotta be real, the entire point of LGB back in the day was that alone, the lesbians, gays, and bis were small numbers, but all together, apes strong. Then T got added, and apes stronger. The fight got bigger, but so did the numbers fighting it. Once the Q+ got brought in as a distinct aspect of what was already already there as well as new groups, those numbers start looking like an army. Once you have the numbers, fucking with one of them seems like a bad proposal. Maybe that + including neurodivergent people, otherkin, and other folks that don’t fit the cis-heteronormative world would be another ape to hold with. You add in the allies, and the “all of us” that’s fucking back can be a force for real change. Maybe the allies here, we can just fight beside our friends and canopies families, and let them sort out labels and pronouns after they aren’t being literally killed

The formatting makes it hard for me to follow, so apologies if/when I fuck up

As best as I can pick up, you’re saying that, overall, you feel that the decisions being made on an admin level are divisive and harmful. That part of why that is, is because it draws a hard line about acceptable beliefs, particularly when voiced.

AND, that when those actions/decisions are being applied away from their own instance, that it crosses a line.

Secondary to that, you believe that it has/will cross over into the very kind of fascism that’s warring against trans people in the first place.

Like I said, the formatting is fucking with my ability to interpret things because my brain likes to not see words right even on the best days. I’m going to go forward with the above as my assumptions, and if I’ve missed something, or I’m just wrong in my assumption of your meaning, please correct me because I don’t have anyone available to read the sections that I’m having trouble seeing right, it isn’t me being obtuse or anything. Well, no more obtuse than normal for me.

My response to that is that you have a point, a valid point. It is always dangerous to split a populace against itself, even in the name of preserving that populace.

However, in parsing the actions of admins, it’s important to look at what their goals are, and what the principle is that they’re fighting for.

It comes back to the neopronouns/xenopronouns debate. That’s really where and when these preemptive bans have occurred, at least that I’ve run across.

Let me approach things a little backwards from how I usually do.

I have changed my opinion about neopronouns in general, to a stance that more closely matches the policy of blahaj; that in general respecting someone’s pronouns is fundamental to the fight for trans rights. It’s only one aspect, but it’s a core aspect because it relates to the entirety of how everyone relates to and thinks about gender.

The problems on blahaj started not with basic, widely known neopronouns. It started once people started using individualized pronouns, akin to me wanting my pronoun to be “south”, or “sam”. Some of those neopronouns are a type of neopronoun called xenopronouns.

My opinion of neopronouns as a whole used to be that they are a problem because they’re just too confusing, and are too arbitrary, and that they are (because of that) harmful to the trans rights efforts. Kind of a “wrong fight, wrong time” thing.

The reason I changed my opinion is that pronouns are something placed on us by external powers. Like gender, they are assigned to us. While having they/them as an option for people that don’t align with masc/fem binaries is a good thing, the fact that it’s still imposed by external powers means that the concept itself is part of the structure of oppression.

Neopronouns, like xe/xer/xhem, address that in one way, and it’s an important thing that we consider them, and a vital thing that when someone is saying “here, these are generic words that satisfy the needs of English grammar, but respect my differences”. That concept is largely the first big wall that the fight hits. “What, how dare you change my language?” “You’re forcing your beliefs on me, you transism crazy!”

So, if I, as an ally, can’t at least try to follow that concept, am I really an ally?

But then we hit the second wall, individualized pronouns. Respecting those is a shit ton harder because they aren’t generic. You have to remember each one for each person. That’s a much higher and harder ask. You’re going to run into people that can’t keep track, even if they’re willing. You’re asking not for a few new words, but for retraining people’s entire language pathway in their brain. Neurologically, it’s easier to learn a new language than to rebuild years or decades of the patterns of a learned language that have “etched” pathways in the brain, physically.

So, is it worth fighting for? Well, my previous opinion was hell no. It has changed to a qualified yes. See, the fight for trans rights is not a single offensive. Trans people are attacked at multiple levels, and thus the tools used, and the defensive strategies have to be multi-front as well. It is still my opinion that it is a much lower priority in general. However, when you’re trying to create a space where people are supposed to be away from the fight, where they’re supposed to be at least off the front lines, can you really ignore that individualized pronouns are just as valid and important as generic neopronouns?

I don’t think you can, and that’s been the stance of blahaj administration. And that is divisive. It’s causing strife for anyone and everyone that doesn’t agree with respecting those neopronouns because they’re individualized. But, if you don’t take the stance that every individual must have their pronouns respected, you’re allowing strife and division by allowing the fight behind your lines.

So, now the admins are in the fight. They have limited choices for those in their camp. They either fight for a core right: to be recognized and respected, or they refuse to fight for that right and abandon those for whom the language is most hurtful for.

They made their choice. They decided it was the right fight to have. The implemented an in-instance rule, and enforced it.

But, they aren’t in a fort. They’re in a city, and cities don’t have gates these days. So they can’t stop people from attacking behind their lines without building gates (aka defederating), or instituting border guards that prevent known and suspected enemies from entering. They went on the offensive, applying bans to people that weren’t in their city, effectively telling the guards not to let those individuals in.

This is, again, a dangerous tactic. It is one that risks internal rebellion and increased external attacks. But, it is an effective tactic. If done right, not only will those individuals no longer be let in, but others will have to consider whether or not they want in as well. They become aware, via posts like this one, that it is a war, and that they will fight. And, that they don’t care where you are, if you fuck with their people even indirectly, you aren’t welcome.

That’s a powerful thing. Looking at it from the outside, it’s brilliant, if they intended even part of that. I don’t know their intent, it could be pure spite, but it looks looks like someone not fucking around.

The trans people that should be safe there, but aren’t because they object to individualized pronouns? That’s a problem because they deserve a space that’s as fiercely defended. They’re left out in the cold, so to speak, since there’s only one other instance that’s titularly trans safe, and it’s pretty well despised and defederated.

But now, they do have the same choice I’ve had; to really look at my objections and see what they mean, to see if maybe, maybe there’s something to it.

And, of equal importance, so does anyone that runs across a post complaining about it. All of us, allies, enemies, undecided, we see this kind of thing, and there’s an opportunity to really think instead of reacting. To examine what it is that we object to, why we object, and fully, consciously decide where we stand. Not everyone will. Most people will just reinforce their previous beliefs and that’s that for them. Some will think about it, and their end decision is to not change their beliefs. Some might even change against neopronouns. But some are going to find themselves staring at something in their mind and realizing it doesn’t match what their principles are, and change that way.

Managing all of that? Making that fight, nobody is going to get it right every time. But it’s a fight worth having. If it turns and rots into a form of fascism, then blahaj falls, and that will be a bad thing. But I believe that, so far, it’s being done for the right reasons, and in scale with the incidence of incursions.

You don’t believe that. I can’t blame you. You aren’t a random account with no history and mostly lurking. You’re definitely not transphobic. I don’t think anyone looking at your history could come to that conclusion and be taken seriously. There have been other people banned in the same way that, like you, not only aren’t enemies, want to be and generally are allies. Tbh, anyone saying that about you can go fuck themselves, and I’ll gladly tell them that directly, should I see it happen. You disagree with one issue among many, and not in an egregious way. If Ada or another admin asked my opinion, I’d tell them to reverse the ban and try engaging with you instead. And tell them they were being assholes if they don’t at least consider it

Fuck, this is way longer than comfortable reading length on a screen. And I didn’t even get to the xenopronoun part of things. And it’s important. It’s the other big issue that people attack over. I’m not sure whether to keep going, or break that into a separate comment in response to this. I think that’s what I’ll do, because it keeps coming up, and it needs addressing.

But pug, even if you decide to skip it. Even if you ran into the wall of text and skipped this far to see if I had a point. I get it. I get your frustration, I get the point you’re making. It’s a valid point. It’s one worthy of discussion. It’s all about when and where.

A reference? No, but I checked out their site, searched for any mentions of encryption, and the only part of their services that mention out is their password keeper. Since they only mention it there, that would point to that being the only part that has it, since neglecting to mention it for other aspects seems like a giant gap in their marketing

Fok this sull!

Pugjesus, I’m not directing this at you, it’s more an opportunity to express this stuff when it isn’t coming up in a community where this discussion isn’t disruptive. This C/ is usually okay with discussion about the subject of a meme, so I’m taking the shot while it’s fresh in my mind.

Look, in an ideal setting, this wouldn’t be an issue because blahaj could wall itself off and be the trans dedicated space it needs to be.

Unfortunately, lemmy is not only difficult to use that way, but there’s still a need to interact with outsiders because there’s a war on. They need allies to have access, the users to be able to interact with other instances, and for trans people on other instances to be able to interact there.

They’re going to fuck up because there’s no way to make all of that work without admin oversight being high. There’s always going to be human error, biases, and outright moments of emotional decisions. It happens everywhere.

But we gotta be realistic here. When blahaj admins fuck up, they’re fucking up because they represent a populace that’s under attack from the outside and the inside. There’s a dozen topics that simply aren’t one sided, which means any of those topics needs judgement calls.

Those of us that aren’t blahaj users can STFU and mind our own when it comes right down to it, because it isn’t our space. That goes for me too, if I end up banned for something I say elsewhere. Our trans compatriots fucking deserve a space where they can work this kind of thing out, even if that means a lot of mistakes along the way.

And the admins of blahaj are making mistakes. So are some of the users. The questions are, what are those mistakes, which users, and how can there be an objective decision as to what’s the best path? I sure don’t have a right to decide those things for blahaj, so my opinions are essentially farting in the wind. All I can do is support the trans community as a whole, and hope that blahaj finds a balance that allows the users and admins to have a space that is as free of interference and hate as is possible in this fucked up world.

Now, while preemptive bans are a damn difficult tool to use well, they are a valid tool. I personally wouldn’t have used them in every case that’s shown up on the various C/s about mod/admin actions, but I also don’t have access to everything an admin would. There may be reasons I can’t see. But I would have used it in a few of those cases. I prefer preemptives to be a scalpel rather than a scythe, but sometimes you have to cut.

One of these days, I’ll finish up my thinking on the whole xenogender aspect of things, and maybe what I end up with as an opinion will get me banned from blahaj if/when I share it somewhere. If that’s the case, I’ll be sad because I genuinely love the people there, and I love the community. But if that’s what’s needed to keep that society community and those people able to have their own space in a world that’s trying to literally eradicate them, so be it.

Wars never happen without harm to real people, and a lot of the war against trans people is a war waged with words and ideas. So neutering the words of war being able to besiege the instance seems like a worthy strategy to me.

Well, ignoring anything else, cozy lacks the encryption proton drive has.

Which makes it little or no better than any other cloud provider, afaict.

But, if you can’t make use of proton being encrypted because they’re dipshits about making their stuff Linux friendly, then they’re no better than any other options. So you might as well go with whatever gives you the most bang for the buck

Because that’s the only way it got laughs at all

Don’t kink shame me!

Ahh, had to throw a down vote.

Every coffee snob I’ve ever met runs this same routine.

Also, it’s pointless as well as a badly framed idea.

You do know that different roasts, and different beans, each have subtleties that can be brought more to the front, or moved back, with the application of milk, cream, sugar, honey, salt, lemon, and other less popular options? Or are you not aware?

Because that’s just roast and species. Once you get into regional varieties, it opens up even more. An Arabica grown in Ethiopia and roasted blonde is going to be different than a Kona, or a generic Columbian.

Take Kona and Ethiopian as perfect examples. Depending on exactly what you want out of the coffee, most Ethiopian beans favor darker roast. Kona tends to be better with a light or medium (again, depending in desired results).

You take Ethiopian black, and it’s good. Great even. But it’s going to be more bitter, less fruity, and decidedly not floral. You add in a splash of milk or cream, and that bitterness fades to the background, and you can taste the spicy notes and the earthiness. Add in some sugar, sparingly, and the spice climbs further front, while the bitterness almost disappears.

Kona, however is a highly fruity, bright coffee no matter how it’s roasted, but when it’s done dark, it tastes burnt without milk or cream. And, at lighter roasts, a hint of sugar or honey opens up the fruit and deepens it. So, in both cases, Kona may be better with one or both.

Both of those benefit from the tiniest pinch of salt, whereas something like a Blue Mountain suffers from any of it, with the possible exception of a teeny tiny splash of milk if it has been sitting for a while. Blue Mountain tends to lose it’s complexity and develop a certain sourness if it isn’t stored well, as its normal acidity just doesn’t seem to like being too dry.

Now, yeah, once you dump enough in, it’s about the caffeine rather than flavor. But the truth is that your average cup of grocery store coffee isn’t that great to begin with. It’s flat, one note. Which is fine, and there’s a strong argument that wasting money on fancy coffee that you aren’t going to be able to sit and really savor is kinda silly. So why not douse it with whatever makes you happy, and get your caffeine fix?

Black coffee is great, but it isn’t some kind of automatic thing where it’s going to be pleasant by default. Have you ever been in a hospital break room? The stuff that gets stocked in most of those is shit by even grocery store coffee standards. But it’s hot, cheap, and usually free for the employees that may have to abandon it at no notice. So who cares what’s in it to make it bearable?

Coffee snobs love to bag on Starbucks for being mid tier at best. And I ain’t gonna argue against that. But you know what makes mid tier coffee drinkable when you’re stuck in traffic? Cream and sugar. Maybe even pumpkin spice, if that’s your fetish.

There’s as many ways to enjoy coffee as there are mouths. Trying to coffee snob black coffee as some kind of purity test is just snobbery

Pfft, the best way to win an argument is to not have it. You know you’re right, fuck that other guy, not worth the time.

But, what you gotta do is grab your fucking brain, slap it in the fucking cunt, tell it to shut the fuck up and do what it’s told, or it gets a thumb up its ass again.

Now, it’s very important when disciplining your brain that you never make empty threats, so you gotta keep that thumb ready, and as soon as that fucking shit-for-brains brain talks back, you jam that thumb right up its poop chute, no excuses, no delay, no lube. You thumb fuck that brain into submission.

Sorry, but this is a super common take.

Not sure if you meant it to or not, but you can’t ping users by doing u/username on lemmy. You have to enter the lemmy version, like @southsamurai@sh.itjust.works

Well, if your pussy is purring juices, you may have over stimulated it.

puts on ban proof armor

To be fair, don’t we all like fucking a hairy pussy?

I know, I know, bald pussies exist, but it just feels wrong when you rub your dick on them.

However I draw the line at eating pussy. It just isn’t healthy, and you don’t know what you might catch from it. I mean, have you seen the mess they leave behind?

Death awaits us, a warm embrace after a cold life, giving surcease to the plague of human misery.

That is a very natural way to hold a rat