You have a house?

Where’s Skifree?

Damn leftist, they ruined leftism!

Could Joey Chestnut eat hamburgers like that?

Telemarketer should’ve been number 1.

No, my name is, er, Bort. Yes, that’ll do.

I would do anything for love, but I won’t eat that.

Japanese Waffle House

Does anybody really know what time it is?

That’s why we need a robot Santa.

I question the fuckin’ part. Don’t think he’s getting laid.

The parking spot is where you stop the sliding.

Where are the cavemen?

It’s basically for the same reason stores charge $19.99 instead of $20.

1. He’ll say that he did it

2. The media will treat it as gospel

3. People will believe it

Not listed: prices actually coming down

Does anyone really know what time it is?

No person who makes random Simpsons references? Gee, I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

I would’ve settled for razor blades. No, I get apples instead. That’s not candy.

I wonder how extra crispy would taste.