• 4 Posts
  • 54 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 13th, 2023

help-circle





  • Nobody: …

    My dog: “MOTHERFUCKER I KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND! HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE ON MY… oh wait. I guess that noise just came from my own butt and not some scary dog eating demon. Nevermind. My bad.”

    My other dog: “AAAAAAHHHHH! DONT HURT ME. PLEEEASASSSSEEE! IM BEGGING YOU! I HAVE A FAMILY! Oh. Oh, you’re going to give me pets? I thought you were going to chop me to death with a giant arm shaped machete.”





  • Day 7300:

    “Foiled yet another one of Van Pelt’s attempts to kill me yesterday. As much as he sucks at hunting, he’s incredibly dedicated. It’s kind of sad, really. Like watching Wile E. Coyote try to catch the road runner over and over. Each attempt a little more pathetic than the last. Sometimes I think I should just let him do it. End it all. He gets a win. I get to escape this God awful nightmare; theoretically. But on the other hand, maybe he needs this. Maybe the chase is what keeps him going. Maybe deep inside that cold, sociopathic murderer there’s a dude just looking for a purpose. I mean, it’s not like he’s ever going to get out of here.”





  • Beehaw is like the Elks Lodge of the Lemmyverse. From the outside they look exclusive, mysterious, and enticing. Inside, there’s just a few drunk guys singing karaoke.

    At least that’s my assumption. They wouldn’t let me in because I refused to write a paragraph about why I wanted to join an instance that I knew virtually nothing about. Even the Elks Lodge wasn’t that picky.



  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.workstomemes@lemmy.worldJust asking
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 month ago

    How dare you want to exist as your preferred and best version of yourself!

    Seriously though, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve always felt comfortable with the gender I was born with and I can’t imagine how hard it has to be to not feel that way. Not to mention being forced to interact with people who think you don’t deserve to be the person you’re happy with because it’s makes them a little uncomfortable. They’re ignorant assholes.