“No polling indicated public opinion shifted on this and we are being adaptive!”
What is “this”? What is the topic?
“Saving lives is efficient” doesn’t even sound like a full thought.
It’s efficient in what regard? In what way is saving lives commonly thought to be inefficient?
Here’s the issue. The nice guys you’re talking about, the “real nice guys” don’t care about advantages and disadvantages of being nice because they aren’t being nice in order to gain something from others… cause that’s not actually being nice. They aren’t being nice and then getting upset that their kindness isn’t being noticed when dating or that they get upset when their kindness is taken advantage of. They are nice because they believe being decent to others is the best way to live and treat others, even if it’s sometimes taken advantage of by others. They find more in the act of being nice itself, than what they may benefit from it or even what possible negative results may come from it from other people taking advantage.
The second you said “when it gives you a disadvantage while dating” you’ve already crossed the line into r/niceguys. You’re trying to give kindness a value that can be traded or points and essentially stating it deserves something in return.
Don’t be nice to gain something from others. That isn’t being nice. That’s being manipulative. Be nice knowing you aren’t going to gain anything in return, but still choose to be nice anyway.
As for helping others… it sounds weird when you put the two topics together. Helping people that are being abused… and dating. I don’t want to make assumptions, but talking about both of these things together makes it sound more like your main focus is dating, but kind of using “helping others” as a guise. It’s one thing to want to help abuse victims, but it’s another if you’re essentially saying that you want to help them out of their abusive relationship and into a relationship with you. That doesn’t sound like the goal is to actually help them. It sounds like “come date me because I’m a nice guy and will treat you better”. Then getting frustrated that the don’t, because you “deserve” the relationship because your a ‘nice guy’ and it’s an afterthought that it may so happen to benefit them too.
Maybe I’m reading into it wrong. This is a complex conversation over a couple paragraphs, so… kind of hard to gauge accuracy over what is being said.
You think there is democracy in the US? Our votes don’t even matter because politicians purposefully draw the districts to favor the outcome they want (gerrymandering) and it’s completely legal because the people in charge of making the laws are the same people that are in control and want to stay in control.
The US is soft despotism.
Giant corporations literally buy the laws they want at the expense of the people, because politicians like money and are happy to sign away bills for a large bribe gift of a million dollars.
The people aren’t in control and haven’t been anywhere close to in control for nearly a century.
What was illegal for President Warren G Harding in the 1920’s (giving all his under qualified buddies cabinet positions, so they could all make huge deals with government contracts) is now just the norm and completely legal.
That’s why I mentioned that the US is just operating in a form of soft despotism. It is not obvious the the American people.
Most US citizens believe they have the power or believe they have a lot of power or even at least some power.
Soft despotism gives people the illusion that they are in control, but actually they don’t have any real influence over the government.