Dammit, I was going to say this same thing

Wouldn’t THAT vaccine be a paradox though? The half that would take it don’t need it, and the half that need it are…ya know…listening to Alex Jones conspiracy theories.

Ok, how about this…what if we did the patriarchy but different. Instead of being male dominant, it was just no dominance at all? Instead, we’d have marbles. And everybody gets the same amount of marbles. But the marbles don’t mean anything. Even if you took someone elses marbles, you just have 10 marbles instead of 5. But 10 marbles doesn’t do anything differently than 5 marbles. You just have 10 marbles. Same as you would today.

So then, when it comes to things like money, and power, and dominance…no. No money. No power. No influence. No dominance. Just everybody gets 5 marbles.

And instead of calling it the patriarchy, we can call it Flornandia. A word I just made up.

Now, as it pertains to the giant rubber ducks…

Tsk tsk tsk. He bought multiple islands, but never bothered to breed any dinosaurs???

Damn.

Going to epsteins island was scary for totally different reasons!

Jesus, take the wheel!!!

car crash

The weather is corn!

I thought the way to help DOMS was to find SUBS.

I’ve witnessed this were the result of cows helping themselves to a field of alfalfa.

That little rascle!

I’m not a nazi! I’m only a monster if you consider a tickle monster to be a monster!

runs off and ties several people to the train track near a lever

Oh, don’t worry. This train tracks is abandoned. But it makes for a nice steel spot to tie captives to so they can’t squirm away while I tickle their feet! Now where did I put that feather…

train zooms by killing everyone

…ah, found it OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE???

You should introduce the concept of N-Gage taco talkin!

Can confirm. Survived cancer. Haven’t survived cell phone addiction.

You should change a coworkers map to say “New Muxico” instead of “New Mexico”.

Just to see how long they take to notice.

Well, it IS hard to care about a multinternational sex ring that targets billionaires as clients including the current and some former presidents, when there’s no pizza at the meeting.

No pizza = not important.

That’s how these things works right? Bring donuts, kind of important. Bring pizza? Oh fuck! Shit just got real! Bring muffins? This meeting could have been an email.

Holy shit. I’m just now finding out about this. Otherwise I’d have pet that dog all day when it was still alive.

…I don’t understand. How do you not inhale her fur when she places her butthole right on your lips as you fall asleep?

…what? Is my cat the ONLY one who does this???

No no no. I’ll make it more exciting to watch.

Ok, so first off, everybody loves violence. So the first thing we’re doing is giving every player a knife. They’re free to use it however they like. Except the goalie. The goalie gets a chainsaw. All the refs gets flame throwers.

Ok, so next we want to increase female viewership. So now all the athletes are going to have a uniform that is only a bra and panties, sponsered by Victoria Secret.

No more groups. It’s now one group. Elimination tournament style.

And now, the soccer ball is filled with a bunch of beans. These beans are filled with rice size atomic bombs. If the ball is shot with a special liquid, the protective layer around the ball is melted away. And now the ball is one big explosive with a timer. Nobody knows when it’ll blow up. This is only used in sudden death overtime.

And the airplanes above the field release toxin gas that makes everybody horny as hell. That’s when drunk people in the stands start fucking.

My first computer was 33htz. Ran Windows 3.1. And Warcraft 2.

So yeah. The perfect computer.

Man. I have no use for this. I know where I go. I go to work. And then the gym. Almost every day. Because I work a lot.

It’s like my boss always says…“BACK TO WORK, DICKHEAD!”

Always using bananas for scale…but never in pajamas!

No no no no no. You got it backwards. If you ban guns, then only criminals will have guns.

Instead, I think we go the other route. Everybody gets shot on their 18th birthday.