Ininewcrow

First it was The History Channel … then it became alien conspiracy channel … then it morphed into the War Channel.

While people behind me are going insane

In Canada with Irish Canadian friends, my favourite was always … JELLO SALAD … basically a bowl of coloured jello with its of fruit in it. The bowl was usually set alongside all the turkey, potatoes, vegetables and stuffing.

Every other time of the year, it’s called a children’s dessert … at Christmas time, it’s known as an adult’s gourmet salad.

Never understood it.

I’d rather pay higher prices to my local farmer that gives me quality food than a faceless corporation that gives me shitty products that travelled 10,000 kilometers and paid every single worker along that route as little as possible.

Adjusts settings …

“MOM!!! … I can’t turn down the temperature setting! … it’s too hot!!”

Duct taped kid after a four hour LAN session … ‘uhhhh guys … guys! … GUYS!!! I need to pee!!!’

And you still end up with people near the entrance asking where the arcade is.

Best solution is to force the Ramirez inside to go outside with the other Ramirez … and don’t let either of them back inside.

Sorry Ramirez :(

Don’t joke. I was at my wilderness cottage in northern Ontario about six years ago.

Bright blue sky, beautiful sun, warm air, no bugs … I was alone … the world was my own. Then a round white object the size of the full moon slowly drifted overhead. I thought maybe it was just some thing that was blowing by … a piece of garbage, plastic or even a party balloon. So I ignored it.

It stayed in place for an hour and I thought it was weird.

After hovering in place as clouds slowly started to move overhead … I became worried. It’s freaky to see an object stay in the same spot in the sky for eight hours and it isn’t the moon or the sun.

It stayed until sundown, then finally moved away.

I researched it and asked around about it days after.

Turns out it was a new experimental balloon system they launched from Timmins, Ontario. Some new system someone was developing to raise rockets into high altitude and launch them from there.

But for a few days I was really freaked out.

You know you fucked up in life if in the afterlife after you die … you are not greeted by St Peter … but you are greeted by Clippy

I remember reading once that world wide, all the ants on the planet weigh collectively more than all the elephants put together on the planet.

I’ve got a mechanical device that will shake the ants out … I’ll just crank it up to 10,000 rpm so I can get my ants fast and be on my way … let me just adjust the carburetor so I pull start the engine to get started … HOLD STILL!!!

Usually, its from the freeze/melt cycle forming giant blocks of ice somewhere on the road … then the plow pushing a giant chunk right onto your driveway. Best time for this is usually at the end of winter when it’s constantly thawing then refreezing at night.

Somewhere randomly within those deposits is a large boulder of solid ice that is too hard to break, too heavy to move, yet somehow occupies the middle of the snowpile.