We don’t boil our pancakes.

Madison Cawthorn? The gun-toting sex-pest who got caught driving without a license Madison Cawthorn?!

Also if you grind up a Zippo and sprinkle it on top, it’ll make the meal just a little bit lighter.

My grandmother’s will said “you can donate my body to the university, and if they don’t need it then I hear the state police can use it to train dogs to find corpses, and that’s good too.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Oven_of_Akhnai?wprov=sfla1

Good ad campaign, too.

Unihertz Jelly Star! I bought one solely to use as an mp3 player, but I got very close to it becoming my regular full-time phone.

I adore the blessed people who write up the Simple English entries.

Here’s the opening paragraph from Quantum Mechanics in Simple English:

Quantum mechanics explains how the universe works with things that are even smaller than atoms. It is also called quantum physics or quantum theory. Mechanics is the part of physics that explains how things move and quantum is the Latin word for ‘how much’. A quantum of energy is the least amount possible (or the least extra amount), and quantum mechanics describes how that energy moves.

If you’re lookin’ for a ride, I’ve a horse outside.

Fucking memetic cognitohazards…

I do my WICK check.

W - Wallet

I - Information device (phone / mp3 player)

C - Cup (travel mug of coffee)

K - Keys

Then I get to my car and I remember that I forgot something else important so I have to go back.

Which means that every villain in that room fully believes that is the sort of thing that Croc would say.

My last raise was by $1 / hour. Accounting for inflation, even with the raise, I’m making $3 / hour less than I was when I last got a raise. I’m working for a little mom and pop business and they are good people, but they cannot do basic economic math.

Which makes for a much more dramatic-looking jet of flame when you light it.

To be fair, if a technology was going to disassemble me down to a subatomic scale and reassemble me somewhere else, I’d want the atmospheric and ship’s systems conditions to be absolutely perfect, too.

“Listen: you might think about getting your friend some help. He’s way too preoccupied with superheroes’ reproductive organs.”

Unless you’re a dragon.

I know they meant “worst” in the sense of “bad at math,” but now I’m imagining the world’s worst mathematician trying to figure out how to use math to commit ethic cleansing or poison water supplies or make pugs’ noses even more fucked up or something.