“I bet the DHS, DOJ, FBI, CIA, and NSA are all competing to see who can recruit me or kill me before I graduate highschool”-ass threat model

“My hobby is writing James Bond / Freakazoid erotic spy thriller fanfic”-ass threat model

“I drew a dick on Pete Hegseth’s face last time he was passed out drunk before Sunday service”-ass threat model

Eh. I don’t fault anyone for not wanting to give google the money. I love my pixel, I love my graphene, but at the end of the day privacy is the first, last and only priority.